I don't really care about anything anymore. It's taken me a while to get here, but I just don't. All I feel is digust, annoyance, and anger. I'd rather be in total isolation (not really much of a change from how i am now, tbh, i havent spoken to anyone in person that isnt related to me in years.) than deal with people. It's gotten to the point where I'm acively refusing "help" because people try to make decisions for me. If i can't be treated as a human, then why should people be able to speak to me? Just leave me the fuck alone, let me rot in peace.
I'm not built for social interactions, for affecion or comraderie, I'm beginning to understand. I just am not wired for it. Those things are not meant for me and thats fine. I've lived so long without basic human amenities like love and running water and internet and a steady foodsource that I don't need them anymore. I make do without, as always. It builds character as they say, and honestly, even if it doesnt, i know i cant trust people.