I hate that I'm so jealous of her. She did irreparable damage to me, almost killed me by proxy, and here she is. part time career, on hrt, looking good, has someone she can be physically attached to. shes a horrible person and i cant explain why we're still so close, but shes doing so well for herself. i fucking hate how much i envy her, but shes got everything i want. i know the issue is within me, i need to be content with my various flaws and who i am, but seeing her thriving when im suffering so much is like bathing my very soul in hydrochloric acid. god help me.